with my eyes..... i see everything..... destruction.. peace... hatred..

PHEW, what a hectic week I have!

Problems and problems arise for the whole of this week, busy counselling, giving encouragement and advice to others... Perhaps that makes me look so tired and shag this whole week.

Ponder about alot of things nowadays as well.. While counselling others, I'm picking up pieces of myself along the way.. Felt a little lost for awhile at times but things have to move on.

There are so many things I can help with but there are oso so many I can't. And usually the ones that I can't are the ones that hit me the most.. So helpless at times, so frustrated at times. Luckily true friends are always there for you, though they are also very tired with things on their end.

I have this friend who said "Sometimes you don't put too much feelings to a friendship / relationship, so you won't get hurt". Often, I put in too much effort and feelings in things I do. Reflecting on what she said, it's true in a way (defensive way) but deep down inside I don't think it's right. Without putting in effort, you don't see results. Without putting in feelings, you won't feel emotions. Mix them together and you get a INCOMPLETE you. Somewhat strong and defensive but empty deep within.

Then again, different ppl have different views. I can say I'm facing some problems myself, however I'm not giving up just yet! Never ever I want to see close ones end up like my old self. It hurts to see the shadow of me suffering in darkness.... Scary to even look back...

So my dear friends / close ones (you know who you are), please don't give up and don't isolate yourself and close up your inner world. I'm here to help and so are your friends.. We can work towards a happy ending if we try to...

Signing out...